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Post by Marie Lynn on May 17, 2007 14:19:41 GMT -5
Marie didn't really know what to say, the two of them stood in silence for a few minutes. She turned towards Max, giving him a faint smile. She didn't know what to say, but eventually thought of something. "Why did you tell me you were fine?" She asked quietly with a sigh. She didn't really feel like she should give him a lecture, maybe Max would talk more than her. That's kind of what she was hoping for. Her eyes were filled with deep concern for him. She looked down at the ground and something caught her eye. It was silver and shiney. She stared at the object, not really realizing what it was.
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Maxwell Green
Junior Member
If you show me heaven I will meet you there.
Posts: 236
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Post by Maxwell Green on May 17, 2007 14:35:10 GMT -5
Max pursed her lips, his eyes drifting toward the ground as the silence fell between the two. Well, this was kind of awkward. He crossed his arms over his chest, hanging his head, his black hair falling over his face. He glanced up at her from under his eyelashes as she spoke again. Why did you tell me you were fine? Max shrugged, standing up straight as he walked closer to her. "Because I am fine." He said through gritted teeth, his face grave and serious, his eyes slightly narrow. His lips formed a straight line as he stared at her, his eyes slightly cold and unhappy, though he did his best to hide it.
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Post by Marie Lynn on May 17, 2007 14:50:33 GMT -5
"You know your lying. I don't care what is wrong, but don't lie to yourself!" She said, turning on him, pointing her finger at him. She had no place to tell him any of this, but it was to late. She just wanted to make sure that he was okay. "You don't have to tell me why you are the way you are, but..just, just.." She broke off, looking Max in the eyes. They were still filled with concern and worry, but she was dissapointed in him. He didn't have to hurt himself like this. She sighed, putting her hand down at her side.
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Maxwell Green
Junior Member
If you show me heaven I will meet you there.
Posts: 236
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Post by Maxwell Green on May 17, 2007 20:48:10 GMT -5
You know your lying. I don't care what is wrong, but don't lie to yourself! Max stepped back as she pointed her finger at him, his eyes going wide. His jaw dropping, staring at her in shock and awe. Well, he wasn't expecting her to snap, not so quickly, anyway. He narrowed his eyes, gritting his teeth once more. He crumpled the cigarette in his hand, careful not to burn himself on the tip, as he uncrossed his arms from around his chest. You don't have to tell me why you are the way you are, but..just, just.. He glared at her, suddenly growing angry and hostile. She wanted to know why he was the way he was? Well, he'd tell her why, alright. He snarled at her, losing control of the volume of his voice and the words he said, "You want to know why the !@#$ I am the way I !@#$%^& am?! Alright. Fine. I'll tell you the !@#$%^& truth -- I. am. a. !@#$%^& screw up. My life is a !@#$%^& nightmare. You try living a life where everybody in your !@#$%^& family !@#$%^& hates you and everybody you cared about is !@#$%^& dead!" He shouted at her, his eyes bitter and malicious, his voice harsh and full of wrath. Max dropped the cigarette that was in his hand to the ground, moving his head away from her slowly. He breathed deeply, as if trying to calm himself down, though he was unable to. His muscles were tense with rage. He looked toward the dresser again, turning his back to her as he took out another cigarette from the packet, lighting it quickly. He shook his head slowly, muttering things to himself under his breath, though it was unclear what exactly he was saying. He put the cigarette in his mouth, inhaling through his nostrils slowly. He was about to turn around to face Marie once more, to yell again, to express all of his bottled up emotions of sorrow and self-hatred, but something stilled him. He spotted pictures laying underneath the many braclets and other papers on top of the dresser, pictures of a girl with pink and black hair with a boy with black hair and snakebite piercings. His jaw dropped and his heart ached. He stared at them, frozen in those memories of her. April. He swallowed slowly, his breathing becoming shallow as he stared at her picture, her broad smile, her perfection, her beauty. His heart sank. He yearned for her. He needed to be with her. He hesitated, his anger fading away in a matter of seconds. He ran his hands through his hair, sighing as he shook his head. "... I don't know how much longer I can go on without her." He finally said, the volume of his voice dropping tenfold. He spoke almost in whispers, suddenly sounding depressed and heartbroken. (Since I don't really describe what she looks like well, I figured I'd post a picture or two of what I imaged April to look like. xx1 xx2 xx3)
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Post by Marie Lynn on May 18, 2007 14:28:23 GMT -5
Marie flinched and took a step back. She never heard Max yell like that before, but then again she didn't really know him that well. Maybe she should have expected something like that. Especially from someone who Headmaster Highmore said was a kid with problems. No! I will not judge Max for what some jerk of a teacher says. She scolded herself silently. Her gaze met Max's for just a second, but she looked away immediately and began to think about what Max had said. How do you know if no one in your family loves you. There always has to be at least one person. And he isn't a screw up. Maybe he lost someone special to him, but everyone does. Even I did. She thought about it and lots of other things. Her anger turned to pain. She knew how much Max was hurting inside now. She couldn't believe that it was all true and she wanted Max to just be pulling a prank on her, but she knew that Max wasn't playing around. She sighed, looking away even more than she was. I should have never come over. She said, her heart ached for Max, yet she was wordless. Okay, yes of course she wanted to say so many things, but she didn't know if she should. Marie didn't want to make Max anymore upset than he was.
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Maxwell Green
Junior Member
If you show me heaven I will meet you there.
Posts: 236
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Post by Maxwell Green on May 18, 2007 15:14:11 GMT -5
Max sighed softly, closing his eyes. He made a fist in his free hand, slamming it into the dresser. He shook his head, turning around to face Marie. He shouldn't treat her this way. She was just trying to help, right? It wasn't like him to yell. Well, sometimes it was, but not in this kind of situation, with someone he cared about. He looked at her, his eyes regretful and clouded with sadness.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you." He said, his voice much more softer than before, though it still sounded agitated and upset. He looked away from Marie, unable to look her directly in the eye. He felt even more terrible than he had before. He shook his head again, letting his hands fall at his sides. "I just..." His voice trailed off. He was unsure what to say. "I don't know." He admitted in a sigh, shrugging slightly. "I make myself sick."
He put the cigarette back into his mouth, as if trying to remedy the illness and weakness he felt throughout his body. He held his head low, his black hair falling over his face. He moved his hand back along the surface of the dresser until the hit the thin photographs that were left underneath a bunch of braclets and other jewelry. He turned his head around to look at them, pulling his hand away, as if he didn't expect to touch them. He stared at them, his eyes focusing on April, her smile, her laugh. For the first time today, he smiled faintly at her memory, feeling his heart flutter inside his chest.
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Post by Marie Lynn on May 18, 2007 15:51:01 GMT -5
Marie shook her head. "It's fine, I just..You shouldn't hurt yourself like this though Max." She said looking in his direction. She saw him reach for something on the dresser and wondered what it was; she didn't say anything about it though. A faint smile appeared on her face as she watched him smile slightly. "There is always someone alive that loves you. And I bet April still loves you." She whispered, taking a step towards him. She knew that it was true, but didn't know if Max would think so.
Marie thought about her grandmother, who was sick and on the verge of dying. She sighed. Marie had always been close to her grandmother and her younger brother only, she didn't talk to her parents or two sisters much, because of what happened to her younger sister. Her heart was always missing a part of it ever since that one day.
Jenny was 6 years old when she died. Marie was 10; Connor was only 1 so he doesn't remember even having Jenny as a sister. Marie had always blamed herself for what happened. It was only Marie, Jenny, Connor, and their parents in the family at the time. Connor is Marie's younger brother and Jenny was Marie's younger sister. Jenny was born a healthy baby, but when she turned 2 years old she became very ill and was eventually diagnosed with three types of cancer. She had to go the doctor at least four times a week. She went through chemotherapy and other treatments. Jenny finally started to get better and by five years old she had become cancer free, or so everyone thought. One day Jenny and Marie went to the park alone and they were playing the games little kids normally do. Jenny climbed the ladder to the slide and got to the top, sitting down. She slid down, but didn't get up. Marie didn't know what happened, but when she got to Jenny she was dead. Her parents blamed Marie for the death of her sister, but the doctors claimed it was a type of cancer. Marie never forgave herself because Marie had promised that she would keep Jenny and Connor safe. For the longest time Marie and Connor stayed with their grandmother, because the parents didn't want them. Marie finally went to a physiatrist or therapy doctor, whatever you want to call it and was convinced that the death of her sister wasn't her fault at all. Of course Marie doesn't fully believe it.
Marie snapped back into reality, she shook her head, hoping Max hadn't noticed anything. Marie sighed again, watching Max. Her smile was no longer on her face. Her eyes were clouded with sadness and pain. She wished things could go her way whenever she wanted that way there wouldn't be any pain like this. Things always happen for a reason, Marie. She heard the voice of her grandmother say this in the sweet tone she always used. Marie had always trusted this saying, and her grandmother.
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Maxwell Green
Junior Member
If you show me heaven I will meet you there.
Posts: 236
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Post by Maxwell Green on May 20, 2007 0:23:03 GMT -5
It's fine, I just..You shouldn't hurt yourself like this though Max. Max sighed softly. He should... He probably deserved it, all if this pain and suffering, as much as he would rather wish he didn't. It was his fault his mother and girlfriend were dead, anyway. He felt his heart sink and his stomach churn inside of him, as a nauseous and weak feeling took hold once more. He ran his fingers through his hair anxiously and rested his elbows on the dresser, leaning forward on it. There is always someone alive that loves you. And I bet April still loves you.
Max paused for a moment before laughing softy at Marie's words. Though, it wasn't really out of pleasure, more out of disbelief. He most definitely didn't think her words truthful. April probably hated him now, and perhaps it was better she did. He was a horrible person and completely twisted in the head -- a total basketcase. Perhaps it was better she was away from him. How could he have stood by and watched her kill herself? He should've stopped her from taking those drugs before she got addicted. Maybe then she would still be here and Max wouldn't need to suffer from such traumatizing dreams about her death.
Even if he had gotten to her house at the time he was supposed to. If he wasn't late picking her up for dinner that night, perhaps he could've saved her and gotten her to a hospital before it was to late. It was his fault, all his own fault the love of his life was gone. It would be silly of her to still love him after all of that, as much as it hurt Max to say. He looked down again as he finally spoke. "She shouldn't... I'm the one that killed her." He said softly, his voice deep and filled with despair. Maybe he hadn't done anything to her physically to cause her death, but he stayed silent when he should've spoken up, and stopped her from ever taking those drugs in the first place... and that, to Max, was just as terrible as murdering her himself.
He gazed upon the picture, awestruck by her smile, her beauty. She was always able to astound the boy with just one look. She looked so sinister, to dark and threatening, but her bark was always much worse than her bite... in some cases, anyway. She was so sweet, so kind, so funny, so bold. Plus, she was one of the prettiest girls he had ever laid eyes on, with a crystal clear face and a perfect figure. Max's heart ached for her once more as he thought about her.
He turned his head away, to filled with misery to stare at April any longer. He saw the hurt in her eyes, though it puzzled him about what caused it. He looked away suddenly, deeply hoping it wasn't him who had brought such pain into her heart.
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Post by Marie Lynn on May 21, 2007 14:22:53 GMT -5
Marie looked at the ground at Max's words. ... I'm the one that killed her. Marie's arms were crossed across her chest, not showing anger, but showing fear and pain. "Max, you know that you didn't kill her." She replied softly. Her disappointment in Max was gone and all she felt was pain, sadness, and...love? Was it love? Love for what though? For Max himself or just Max's pain. Marie didn't know at this moment. She was confused, lost, and worried. She sighed, smiling faintly at Max.
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Maxwell Green
Junior Member
If you show me heaven I will meet you there.
Posts: 236
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Post by Maxwell Green on May 22, 2007 15:38:26 GMT -5
Max brought the cigarette to his lips once more and closed his eyes as he listened to Marie speak. Max, you know that you didn't kill her. He shook his head slowly. He took the cigarette form his mouth. "Yes I did. I should've been there... I should've made her stop taking those drugs in the first place. Because I kept my !@#$%^& mouth shut, she's dead. That's just as bad as shoving those pills down her throat myself." He said. There was no hostility in his voice, just strength and firmness, as if he believed whole-heartedly what he was saying. Finally, Max turned his eyes up toward her, staring at her, his expression remorseful, yet still and placid at the same time.
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Post by Marie Lynn on May 22, 2007 15:49:15 GMT -5
"Do you really think that she would have quit just because you asked her to? Highmore has asked you to quit but do you?!" She said, being somewhat harsh. Marie wanted to get it through Max's head that he didn't kill April. "Come on Max. Use your brain because we know that you have one. Don't do this to yourself!" She told him firmly. She sighed, feeling bad that she was treating Max so bad, but she also felt like she needed to. Max needed someone's help and since no one else seemed to care about Max, except for getting him into trouble. She watched Max closely, hoping he would forgive her. She understood that he was hurting, but he didn't have to blame it on hisself.
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Maxwell Green
Junior Member
If you show me heaven I will meet you there.
Posts: 236
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Post by Maxwell Green on May 22, 2007 16:26:42 GMT -5
Do you really think that she would have quit just because you asked her to? Highmore has asked you to quit but do you?! Max gritted his teeth, slamming his fist down onto the dresser as he stood up straight, glaring at Marie. Did she not get it? Did she not understand how profoundly deep he and April's love was? He could've got her to quit, Max knew it. But he didn't even bother to try. Even if he couldn't stop her, at least he could've said he tried. He tried to do something to help her. But he didn't. He didn't say anything, he didn't lift a finger to help her when he should have. "I'm not in love with Highmore, am I!?" Max retorted back suddenly, his voice sounding increasingly agitated and upset. "I loved April, I still love her. I could've done something. I could've stopped her, I could've saved her, I could've helped her, or at least I could've tried! But I did nothing. I stood by and watched her throw her life away -- I stood by and watched her die!" He shouted at her hostilely, raising his voice greatly than the last time he spoke.
Tears burned his green, distressed eyes as he suddenly looked away from Marie, though he pushed them away. His head hung low as he closed his eyes, his black hair falling over his face. Sorrow and misery washed over his body. "I didn't do... anything." He said, the volume of his voice dropping quickly. "I was selfish. I was too afraid of losing her, of fighting with her, that I sacrificed her own welfare just to keep her at my side." He lifted his head again, walking toward the window, stopping again beside the razor on the floor. Max didn't notice it, however. He sighed deeply, his breathing slow and heavy and regretful. His heart ached and his body felt weak. He felt empty, he felt guilty. He made a fist in his free hand, once again closing his eyes. "My silence killed her."
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Post by Marie Lynn on May 22, 2007 20:23:52 GMT -5
Marie jumped this time. She hadn't expected to make Max this angry. She looked down at the ground as he yelled louder at her. She could feel his eyes glaring at her, but said nothing. She sighed almost silently, barely making any sounds as she just stood there and let Max take his anger and pain out on her. Her head raised up a little and her eyes watched Max, but she said nothing. She could tell that she wasn't helping at all. Part of her just wanted to walk over to him and just wrap her arms around him for comfort, but the other half of her said to just leave the room. She didn't move at all though. She just watched Max, feeling somewhat helpless, though she wanted to know how to help him with all of her heart.
Marie saw tears fall from Max's eyes. That was what did it. She silently walked over to him. Her arms reached around him, embracing Max in a hug. She held him close to her body, and heart. "If you think you killed April, then you can say that you did." Marie's voice whispered, filled with pain. Marie truly felt bad for Max and was giving up. She had no other way to help him. So she was just going to stop. She might even tell Highmore that she couldn't watch Max, if that's what Max wanted. Of course, that would come a little bit later at an appropriate time.
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Maxwell Green
Junior Member
If you show me heaven I will meet you there.
Posts: 236
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Post by Maxwell Green on May 24, 2007 15:09:05 GMT -5
Max took a few deep breaths, just trying to relax his body, though his muscles remained tense. He felt terrible. Normally, the pain of April's death didn't hurt this badly. Why was is suddenly so unbearable now? It was like the day it happened, when he could barely breathe and almost suffered from a panic attack. His hands shook violently as he wiped his eyes, smearing the makeup under them. He didn't care. He rested his hands on the window ledge and leaned forward a little, hanging his head down once more. He felt so sick. His stomach churned as nausea overcame his weak, pale body. His strength was drained from him. His heart became cracked and broken. His head spun. It was as bad as the day it had happened... the day he found her... the day April died.
Max looked down at Marie suddenly as she wrapped her arms around him. If you think you killed April, then you can say that you did. He narrowed his eyes for a moment in surprise and bewilderment. He wasn't expecting her to take such an action. His green eyes softened suddenly as he stood up straight. He gently put his arms around her waist, returning her hug. He hated having to drag Marie into this, pulling her into his own world of torment and suffering. He sighed softly, a frown crossing his face. He didn't mean to yell at her, to make her feel bad, but it was simply impossible for him to believe what she was trying to say. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you... I.. I know you're just trying to help." He said softly, his voice apologetic and sorrowful, filled with guilt and regret. He closed his eyes tightly, inhaling deeply once more.
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Post by Marie Lynn on May 24, 2007 15:28:40 GMT -5
Marie felt a tear run down her cheek. "There is no need to apoligize to me, Max." She whispered holding onto Max. She didn't want to let go of him, she held onto him as if she would fall forever if she let go. Marie didn't even wipe the tear away. She just stood there holding onto Max tightly. Her feelings for Max increased every minute that she spent with him. The only thing was, she didn't know if he would feel the same.
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